Stop the endless scrolling on instagram and read these top tips for lesbian online dating, including how to find love online and stay safe.
So 2020 may not have been your year. But it sure is the year for online dating apps. What are you waiting for? Pick up the phone. Download an app & get to writing a killer bio that is sure to get all the girls swiping right on you. There are so many apps out there to choose from! Take it from the girl who has used most of them that there is sure to be one that works for you.
If you are looking to casually date, the apps that are usually reserved for the Hetero population like Bumble & Tinder can still be great for you! Be warned you might find lots of couples seeking a third, questioning sexuality newbies, or the rare diamond femme girl (I found one myself through Bumble and we’ve been together almost two years!). Tinder is the most famous dating app in the world but has quickly turned into a hookup game for most users & can sometimes have a glitchy interface. Bumble gives you a 24 hour limit once you match with someone to send a message otherwise your match will timeout. If you like making the first move in convos, then Bumble is for you.
Hinge is widely referred to as Tinder’s baby sister but you’ll find that you’re able to use common interests to match up with other users, giving you a better sense of what someone is like than what a short bio can do with 120 characters. While Tinder is regarded as a hookup app, Hinge has you determine the type of relationship you are wanting to make your matches line up with what you are looking for based on the questions you answered. They also added a new future to be able to video chat your matches if you are ready to go on a date – which is perfect for social distancing times!
Lastly Find Femmes is by our very own cofounders of The Femme Edition. Megan & Whitney’s dating website is for queer women built by a couple who met online and have a long lasting relationship turned marriage. There is no other app out there dedicated to this niche.
Once you have written a killer bio & organized your dating profile, let’s get to matching. Everyone’s process of how they potentially match with people is different. I, personally, looked for people who matched up with my interests like politics, religion, zodiac signs, and specific hobbies. I read bios to see if any of our interests align. If they are a movie buff & you are the outdoorsy type, you might want to keep looking for someone who’s up to go camping. I’ve typically avoided any Scorpios, people holding fish, or blank bios. Stick to what your core values are & you will be golden.
If you find yourself matching with people but the conversation is going nowhere don’t be afraid to be picky! Either tell them it isn’t working or unmatch and start talking to new people. It is okay to be as picky with your time as you want – it’s valuable. If you feel you are putting more effort into learning more about them than they are doing for you, don’t waste your time. You are a bad babe who has things to do and wasting time is not on your to do list.
No one ever really prepares you for an online date when you are growing up. You see all these ‘meet cute’ moments in the romcoms where the music swells around you, everything is dreamy in slow motion, and the person always approaches you first. In the 21st century, it kinda goes something like this; you both covertly check your phone to confirm you look like your photo before daring to approach. If this is your first time meeting someone in person, make sure you follow these basic rules:
Most importantly be yourself! Your safety & comfort come first when putting yourself out there. If you aren’t comfortable or they aren’t respecting your space or boundaries then it’s time to pick up the check & bounce. Some of my worst dates included unwanted physical touch, missed body language queues, & delving into personal information that is too soon to go into on the first date. With my current partner, I knew that we were compatible from the first date because we communicated what we were looking for, conversation flowed naturally, & when we left we had already planned our next few dates eager to see each other again.
Most importantly don’t forget to be safe. We are all adults here so if you are thinking of hooking up you might not have to have the protection talk but you do need to have the STD talk and make sure you are both clean or had tests recently to avoid any awkward conversations at a later date. No one wants to be a George & Olivia – Grey’s Anatomy has taught us this much.
Once you get through that first date jitters, you can relax and have fun. The more people you meet in person on dates, the more comfortable you will become. If it doesn’t work out and you get ghosted don’t forget how many literal fish there are in the sea. If someone doesn’t see how amazing you are, that is their loss. Know your self worth and only settle for what you deserve!
Read more by Malori: Coordinating You & Your Partners Femme Fashion
I am Malori from @malorisclark & I have been a plus size fashion blogger for over 6 years, working with various brands & spreading body positivity awareness. I identify as Pansexual and my pronouns are she/her. I have been dating my girlfriend, Ashley, for a year and a half & we adopted two cute pets; a cat named Abra and a dog named Lumos. We reside in Phoenix, AZ and run an Instagram together (@malleyinlove). With The Femme Edition, I am here to provide insight not only as part of a Femme Couple but for plus size fashion within the LGBTQ community. I am excited to be apart of this project & hope to bring awareness to these topics!