I am donor conceived and I have always been aware of this. My conception is something we have always been very open and talked freely about in our family. I think this is the key to my very positive experience and why I feel so comfortable being donor conceived.

To my parents, children didn’t come easy. Even though they were young when they began, they struggled. 6 years, help from a donor and a lot of money was what they had to go through before I decided to show up. They had almost given up hope and was ready to adopt. Today my parents have 3 daughters – one DC (donor conceived) and ICSI twins. 

My sisters are only 2 years younger than me and were made with the ICSI method (*ICSI is where sperm is directly injected into the egg). They do not have a donor like I but are my dad’s biological children. It has never really been an issue in our family that I have a donor and they don’t even though my parents have worried a lot. We have always felt like siblings and argued like is as well.

I have always known that I was not less a part of our family and this count for both the 5 of us but also our wider family. I feel very normal and a have great relationship with both my parents. I am just as connected to my dad as the rest of the family, and we always have a great time. He loves a cup of coffee at a café and here we have many great talks. I feel very lucky that I got to be a part of his life as well. He waited for me for 6 years and has loved me from the second I was born. He is always there for me, and that is why he will always be my dad.

As I grew older being donor conceived wasn’t something that occupied my mind. Sure, I was reminded from time to time, but I didn’t give it a lot of thought. I do however always tell people who come to be a part of my live about my conception.  I find it easier and feel like they might understand me a bit better when I do.  

One day a friend came to me for advice. She knew that I was donor conceived with an anonymous sperm donor and wanted to hear how this had affected my life, as she was planning on using a sperm donor. This was when the thought that others might benefit from our story hit me. I started my blog and experienced that there was a real interest for my story. As I searched the internet the only things, I could find about DC people was negative and heartbreaking to read. I knew not everyone was as content as I was, but this was new to me and I got interested in where my parents had made choice that made me feel so different. Therefore I began writing my book with our story and when my conception had played a bigger part.

When I was conceived, anonymity was the only option and therefore not a difficult choice for my parents. To me, anonymity has not been an issue. I have not felt like it was a problem as I already had my own family. I have never wished to know my donor or other children from the same donor. I had never even thought about half-siblings before I started to share my story in public.

I’m very grateful towards my donor and the choice that he made to become one, but I do not want him to be part of my life. I wish him all the best and hope that he feels the same way about me!

“I’m very grateful towards my donor and the choice that he made to become one, but I do not want him to be part of my life. I wish him all the best and hope that he feels the same way about me!”

Everyone is different, and of course so are donor conceived people. I share my story and my thoughts and impressions. This is very important to remember! It can be hard for some to accept my wish, not wanting to find out more about my donor or half-siblings. To me it is essential that we share our stories and different views upon donor conception but do not judge each other.  

My advice to Parents of Donor Conceived Children:

• Love your child and make sure that they do not doubt your love.
• Be honest and open.
• Tell the truth about their conception as soon as possible. I don’t see any point in waiting as it only gets harder to find the right timing. Some want to wait until the child is old enough to understand, but I think you will be surprised how early I understood. Not fully but some of it. I think waiting gives the parents time to worry more and the child less time to understand

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Xx Emma